New Puppy

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A ratonero is a dog used to keep rodents under control in the bodegas – the wine cellars – of Jerez de la Frontera, southern Spain.

They are quite Jack-Russell-ish, and there is every possibility that they are closely related to, if not direct descendants from, english stock

Letter to the Manufacturers

Dear Sirs

We recently acquired a ratonero model from your Bodeguera Jeresana range, and as requested I am happy to provide some feedback.

– It arrived in a good condition and displayed no obvious faults.

– Regular use has confirmed the robust construction.

– The model appears to have a self-propagating power source, in that the more activity engaged in, the more energy seems to emerge.

– Resistance to minor impacts is excellent, as demonstrated in incidents such as rolling all the way down a bancal or running head first into a wall while determinedly killing a sock.

– Acceleration from 0-100 is definitely within the advertised time of 5 seconds after awakening.

On a scale of 1-5:
– Bravery in the face of Very Large Dogs has increased from a 1 to a 4 in the short time of exposure.

– Bounce rating is currently about 7.

– and Pro-Active Attack and Chew of anything within reach is a conservative 12.

Sponsors
I can understand why the Floppy Slipper Company is one of your major sponsors, as the activity of this model must definitely increase the consumer rate of their products.

May I suggest that you contact the Soft and Super-Long Toilet Roll company, as I can attest to their claims for the length of tissue in just one roll: 2 passages, 1 set of stairs and a commando course through the lounge.

The Hiking Boot Sock company may be a candidate for sponsorship, as their product has been tested and approved as a second choice if slippers cannot be found.

Without going into further detail I am also able to assure you that this particular ratonero model displays excellent taste and appreciation for french lace.

Finance
I am hoping that as the model matures it will demonstrate the ability to distinguish between the play objects provided at considerable expense, and objects such as my box of financial papers which were in preparation for forwarding to Internal Revenue.

IRS have informed me that these documents are currently with the section of Criminal Investigation that specialises in fiscal fraud. Their personnel are expert in the reconstruction of shredded documents, and the cost of the reconstruction is to be added to my annual returns.

All in all I am most satisfied with the product, and anticipate years of continued enjoyment. However, one critical piece of information appears to have been omitted from the package:
Where is the Off switch ? ?

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